Recently several people have commented to me that, given the current economic climate, they have been focusing more on what’s really important. Most of the people who made the comment were referring to a greater focus on family and less of a focus on work.
It often takes difficulty, or even crisis, for us to consider and make choices consistent with what is of fundamental importance to us. We have probably all heard stories of people who, after a life threatening accident or illness, have reoriented their lives around what was important to them and began being more fulfilled in life.
With all that is coming at us (and given the speed, complexity and volume of what is coming at us is inexorably increasing), it seems normal to get distracted from what is really important to us. We’re always reacting to something that happens, all the stuff we have to do. This thing calls for my attention, that issue is pressing, somebody calls on the phone – sound familiar?
Thinking about this, one main insight struck me: you and I have a choice. Not only that, we have two choices. One choice is whether we do a given item or not. I don’t mean this flippantly. I fully realize that for whatever we do and don’t do there are consequences. If we don’t show up for work regularly, the consequence is we don’t have that job. However, there are many things we do, about which we feel obliged to do, that if we didn’t do no one would really care. A clear example of this is a client who stopped producing a weekly report and no one noticed. This saved hours each week!
The second choice is choosing our relationship to that thing we are doing. This could at first seem like an odd notion. I’ll give a couple examples to illustrate what I mean.
A single mother in a Mission Control program spoke about how fixing dinner for her son was always hurried in the evening in a way that bothered her. When she examined why fixing dinner was important to her, it became clear that fixing dinner fulfilled her love for, and being connected to, her son. She reported that, armed with this insight, her evenings preparing dinner shifted – she used the time to connect with her son, not merely prepare a meal.
A CIO of a mortgage banking company had a weekly telecommunications meeting that he disliked going to. With this kind of questioning he saw what was of fundamental importance to him that was fulfilled by the meeting was the excellence of the operations. On seeing this he was immediately interested in the meeting and excited about what could be accomplished.
A perspective we work with in Mission Control is that all that we have to do and handle is related to one or more elements of fundamental interest or importance to us – though most of the time we are not aware of this. When we begin to ask ourselves, “Why is doing this thing important to me?” we begin to discern that aspect of fundamental importance. In doing so, what we are doing becomes more meaningful to us; it occurs as doing something that really matters to us, it occurs to us as a self expression.
What would our lives be like if what we are doing, day-to-day and moment-by-moment, were clearly fulfilling what was of fundamental importance to us?
I invite you to play with the choices we have. Particularly in this holiday season, with at least some of the things you are doing, consider – what about that is important to you? Keep asking that question until what you are doing is clearly supporting the fulfillment of something that is of fundamental importance to you – something that really matters. Please share with us what you find!
On behalf of all of us at Mission Control, we hope this holiday season is filled with people and things that really matter to you.
Regards,
Doug Fisher
Tags: concerns, fundamental importance, holidays
